Oh, what sad news janey, I feel very sorry for you and can imagine, how you must feel now. I wish you and your family all the best! I hope the little pleasures of your new hobby may help to cheer your mood up at least a little bit. Btw. I just use childrens-playsand, that you can buy in plastig bags in toy-shops -it works well with me. My tank inhabitants produces the fertilizer, this works since years, at least plants and animals grow well. Algaes too thank god the ones, I like. I consider them as being quite naturally, too.